Where is home for you? Has it changed over time? Does your home help you to anchor yourself in space? Does it need a physical set of walls, or a street address? Or is home more connected to people being physically present? Maybe it surrounds you in some kind of transcendent sense not attached to a place?
As someone who has moved house many times in my life, I definitely ask myself these questions. I tend to feel at home with a few familiar objects around me – dishes I have had for many years or gifts from loved ones or books on shelves collected over time, familiar artwork on the walls. But I also can feel at home when I visit places I have been earlier in my life. I feel at home when visiting a monastery I have gone to for silent retreats for many years. Or when visiting areas of the natural world like oceansides or riversides that I knew from my youth.
This year at Thanksgiving I will be welcoming all three of my daughters and their babies and dogs into my home. It will be a tight squeeze and pretty chaotic. One of the things that has been a priority for me as a ‘homemaker’ is to create spaces where other people feel welcome. Comfy chairs and furniture that is not precious. Soft washable fabrics. A reasonable amount of clutter and some dust and dirt. I am not a great cook and am glad that hominess doesn’t depend on my cooking or fussing. I can feel worried that my daughters will not feel like it is homey for them since I no longer live where they grew up, but one of them said, “Wherever you are is home.” But also, they each have their own homes now, so things are different for us all. I hope this space I have created will help us all feel at home during this visit. It is not always possible to be together with those I am close too, and many times my home is not filled in this way. I am feeling blessed to have this chaotic gathering this year.
The playwright Christopher Fry wrote:
“The best thing we can do is to make wherever we’re lost in look as much like home as we can.”
