What can I do now?
We so often think we need special talents and tools to do something good. But just using what is in front of us, stretching out to express what is in our hearts in the moment, can lead to small good things.
While talking on the phone with my daughter recently, I picked up a ballpoint pen, and a sheet of printer paper. In front of me was a vase of ranunculus flowers given to me as a gift.
It is not yet spring here, but the flowers on the table were a taste of spring. All my feelings came together: listening with care and concern to the words of my daughter, feeling the love from the person who gave me the flowers, appreciating the unusual beauty of these flowers, feeling the urge to express some of this, not only in my words of response to her but beyond that. The perfect expression was not there – the perfect tools, the perfect talent, the perfect response to love flowing in me. But I could say and do something.
In these especially chaotic times, there are limits to what we can do. Each moment is an opportunity to do something: love in ways we can, express what we have within us, act in ways that contribute something good, acknowledge the good in others. I need to remind myself of that, and keep doodling – in my actions and words as well as in my drawings- using what talents and tools I have in front of me and not waiting for the perfect opportunity.
Love Remains
“What thou lovest well remains, the rest is dross,” – Ezra Pound
Compassionate love is a vital part of life. Science can inform our understanding of love – illuminate some of the situations and circumstances that might promote love. I actually initiated a research program to do this in the 1990’s. It can also help us understand some of the psychological, social and biological hurdles we face. But in the end, there is something about self-giving love centered on the good of another, that is just amazing. It cannot be reduced to equations, and mechanical and chemical flux: it is a ultimately a transcendent part of a full life.
Radio Interviews and Podcasts
“Philosophy Talks”, Stanford University and NPR Unconditional Love program Interview with Lynn Sunday, December 9, 2012 https://www.philosophytalk.org/shows/unconditional-love
The full interview is on Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Q3LbzpiaDI7xKqp5gKws0?si=49f1ba2083584982
On Apple Podcasts, you can type in: “Philosophy talks unconditional love” and see a full transcript
“Philosophy Talks: Highlights from 10 years” Includes Underwood excerpts https://www.philosophytalk.org/shows/tenth-anniversary-special
Presentations, workshops, courses
“What’s Love Got to Do with It? : The importance of giving and receiving compassionate love.” Chautauqua Institute, New York, July 9, 2024 Chautauqua Institute write-up.
“Compassionate love can give us wise guidance for tough ethical decisions. Love that includes care, acceptance, and justice. What gets in the way of receiving and giving love in your life? We will explore together how science, the arts and spirituality offer insights into what this kind of love is, and give resources for promoting a flow of love, in and out, to help us act well in our imperfect world and find meaning in our lives. What exactly is this kind of love like for you? Love that feels so good to receive. Good in a lasting way that sticks to the ribs and doesn’t give indigestion. To be loved for who you truly are. To love others in a way that brings them more fully alive.”
“Perspectives on Compassionate Love: Science, Spirituality and the Arts.” The Meaning of Love Conference, Biola University, May 6-7, 2016, Los Angeles, California. link to video
“Perspectives on Love: Empirical research and connections with ethical considerations” Biola University, Los Angeles, California, November 5, 2015
Science and Ethics Lectures, Inamori Center for Ethics, Case Western Reserve University April 2 and April 21, 2015.
The human heart and the moral imperative. Holocaust Museum, Detroit Michigan, April 23, 2009.
Qualitative Interviews on Compassion- Methodological Innovation, Erasmus Institute, University of Notre Dame, March 3, 2004.
Social Science Research on Compassionate Love – Conceptual overview, results, and ethical implications. Calvin College Seminar Series, July 6, 2004.
The Art of Compassionate Love: Research in the Social Sciences, Plenary Address, International Association for Relationship meeting, Illinois State University, Bloomington, June 1, 2003
Compassionate Love: An Adventure in Field Development, Plenary Address, Meeting: Works of Love, Villanova University, June 4, 2003
Definitional Issues and Funded Studies in Altruistic Love, NIMH Workshop on Close Relationship Research, Washington DC, July 2001
Research Model for the Study of Compassionate Love, Seminar and Panel at the State of the World Forum, New York, NY, September 7, 2000
The Human Experience of Agape & Compassion: Conceptual Mapping and Data from Selected Studies, Empathy, Altruism and Agape, a Research Symposium, MIT, Cambridge, MA, October 1999
Publications
Books:
The Science of Compassionate Love : Research, Theory, and Applications. Fehr. B. Sprecher, S, Underwood, LG, eds. Oxford England,Malden Mass: Wiley-Blackwell. 2009. This book brings together many of the studies on Compassionate Love, research based on the framework Lynn developed for research and applications in this area. A chapter of the book. A preprint of Chapter One by Underwood can be found here.
Altruism and Altruistic Love : Science, Philosophy, and Religion in Dialogue Post, SG, Underwood, LG, Schloss, JP, Hurlbut, WB, eds., Oxford University Press, 2002. In the process of pulling together a meeting at MIT in 2000, Dr. Underwood and the other editors brought together philosophers, theologians, social scientists and evolutionary biologists to explore this important topic. This book emerged from that project. Underwood gave the introductory framing remarks, setting out a model that might enable those from many disciplines to communicate. A preprint of chapter in the book: can be found here.
Relational Processes and DSM-V: Neuroscience, Assessment, Prevention and Treatment, SRH. Beach, M Wamboldt, N Kaslow, RE.Heyman, MB First, LG Underwood, & D Reiss. eds., American Psychiatric Publishing Inc., 2006. This book was an effort to make sure that relationships with others were included in the DSM-V revision of psychiatric diagnoses. Mental illness does not exist in isolation.
Social Support Measurement and Intervention: A Guide for Health and Social Scientists Cohen, S, Underwood, L, Gottlieb, B, eds. Oxford University Press, 2000. This book has become a widely cited resource for the selection and development of ways to figure out how social support affects health and enhance it in people’s lives.
Chapters:
“The Human Experience of Compassionate Love: Conceptual Mapping and Data from Selected Studies”, in Post, SG, Underwood, LG, Schloss, JP, Hurlbut, WB, eds. Altruism and Altruistic Love: Science, Philosophy, and Religion in Dialogue, 2002. New York City: Oxford University Press. 72-88.Preprint Underwood Chapter in Altruism and Altruistic Love
“Altruistic Love – Compassionate Love”. Underwood, L. In Harry T. Reis & Susan Sprecher (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. (2009)
“Chapter 1: Compassionate love: A framework for research” Underwood, Lynn G. in The Science of Compassionate Love: Theory Research and Applications, Fehr, Sprecher and Underwood (eds) Blackwell. Wiley- Blackwell. Malden Massachusetts, Oxford, England 2009 .cleancompassionatelovebookchapterblackwell
“Giving of Self for the Good of the Other: Science Research on Compassionate Love and Spirituality” Underwood, Lynn G. in The Love that Does Justice, Edwards, Michael and Post Stephen (eds), Cleveland, Ohio 2008, p 133-138.
“Compassionate Love,” in Post, Stephen G. ed. 2004. Encyclopedia of Bioethics, 3rd edition. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, 483-488.
“The Human Experience of Compassionate Love: Conceptual Mapping and Data from Selected Studies”, in Post, SG, Underwood, LG, Schloss, JP, Hurlbut, WB, eds. Altruism and Altruistic Love: Science, Philosophy, and Religion in Dialogue, 2002. New York City: Oxford University Press. 72-88.
“Social Relationships and Health,” with Cohen, S and Gottlieb, B, in Social Support Measurement and Interventions: A Handbook for Health and Social Scientists, Underwood, L, Cohen, S, Gottlieb, B, (eds.). Oxford University Press, 2000.
The Wikipedia article on Compassionate Love specifically references Lynn’s work https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassionate_love
Articles:
“Crucial considerations for AI implementation with implications for human relationships and recommendations for action”. June 2023 RFA for the US Office of Science and Technology Policy.
“Love in the midst of stressors” Brelsford G, Underwood L, Wright B. (2019) Volume 30, Research in the Social Scientific Study of Religion. An exploration of stress-buffering effects on attitudes of care for others.
“Interviews with Trappist Monks as a Contribution to Research Methodology in the Investigation of Compassionate Love.” click here to view Underwood LG Journal for the Theory of Social Behavior, 35:3 (September, 2005), 285-302.
“Measuring Responsiveness in the Therapeutic Relationship: A Patient Perspective” Reis, Harry T., Clark Margaret S., Pereira-Gray Denis J., Tsai Fen-Fang, Brown Judith B., Stewart Moira, and Underwood Lynn G. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, (2008) 30:4,339-348.
“Initial steps in developing the World Health Organizations of Quality of Life Instrument (WHOQOL) module for international assessment in HIV/AIDS,” as part of the WHOQOL HIV Group, AIDS CARE (June 2003), Vol 15, No.3, pp.347.WHOQOL HIV Aids Care 2004 copy
“Cross-Cultural Quality of Life Assessment at the End of Life: A Commentary”, Saxena, S., O’Connell, K., Underwood L., The Gerontologist, Vol 42, Special Issue III, October 2002, pg 81-85.
Invited blogposts:
Clearing Away Obstacles to Love (May 30, 2016)
Humility and Self-Love: Are They Compatible? (February 24, 2016)